The moment I got there I knew that it would be a miracle if I got in.I went there blindly hoping I’d find more people like me.How naïve. I should have known with the location screaming wealth in caps and bold.
A friend of mine shared a poster.Now,I normally don’t open up all media sent to groups because sometimes they are too many.
Something about this one however,made me open it.It spoke of auditions to be held where they were looking for background vocalists to go on tour with for concerts all over the country.
This was big. From the moment I saw it, I knew I was going to do it. I knew I had stage fright, knew my hands grew sweaty when I was anxious or nervous, knew I would probably get chocked as I was singing because of fear but all these weren’t going to stop me.
For once in my life, I would let go of my reservations and finally face my fears. For once, I would put myself out there. For once, I would follow my heart.
I still had to ask for my mother’s permission though. Something I didn’t want to think too much about.
Two days before the auditions is when I got the courage to ask. She said yes. Told me to choose a song and that the eve of the auditions, I should perform it before her and my siblings. Chose a Ruth B song called mixed signals and they loved it. Applauded even. Took it as a good sign but still couldn’t sleep well that night. Anxiety.
D-day arrived. I woke up a bit too early. Our school had gone on strike abruptly leaving no time to pack clothes. I had to improvise with the few I had.
What I could come up with was a coat that was about three or five years old because I never grow fat just tall so the hands were a little bit short, a baggy trouser to give off the tomboy vibe and brown shoes with white shoe laces.Topped it off with a cap I found because my hair was a mess and I hadn’t time to fix it.
When I got close to the entrance at first I thought it was the wrong place.It had to be.But lo! and behold! it was not.As I stepped closer to the queue,suddenly I felt like it had been pre-invited and I was the intruder.I was the odd one out.Oddest out.
This was not something for an oddly dressed tomboy who thought she could sing.It was for either the rich or the good looking and suddenly I wished they’d sent a memo prior stating that.It woulda saved both of us.Me mostly.But then I remembered they had no way of knowing who was coming so I had to suck it up.
Head held high,despite some judgmental looks and others of pity,I held on until my group was finally called in.Before that,I got to see Stony Jiwe,a local Christian rapper so that was nice.A silver lining at least.
We were ushered into a small room. Well furnished.Artsy.Contestants sat on chairs according to their numbers and would move forward as the next person was called in.
From here, I could see well who my competition was and hear as well. People could saaang! I started doubting myself. My heart beat wild.
This was my state until my number was called.It was too late to back out.With the little energy I had left, I got into my ‘slaughter house. ‘First impressions really matter they say and I agree completely. One of the judges looked like he didn’t like what he was seeing even before I introduced myself. I was going to prove him wrong. That I was gifted.
That was the plan anyway before fear decided now was the time to butt in. My introduction was garbage; I was all kinds of nervous. Anyone with half a brain could tell. You can guess how my performance went….
Got out of there knowing I was not going to be getting a call from them anytime soon and it was all thanks to me. For a moment,I felt down and even cried a little but when the reality of the situation dawned on me, I realized I had done something I’d never done before and that made me proud of me.
My take from this, no matter how good you are, you’ve got to practice if you’re going for a competition and also follow your heart. Things won’t always work out the way you want them to and that’s ok.Lastly,comparison is not your friend.